Not just the proverbial...

At Kelham Island Brewery we hold brewery tours. Just the same as most other breweries in the country have tours, open days and a whole plethora of other events to try and boost their 'consumer awareness and brand recognition', to put the poncy label on it. Basically, we want people to meet us and in the future order our beer over anyone else's because they've been to the brewery and have that lucrative 'inside knowledge'.

Generally speaking, I love brewing, beer, and people. Especially people who also love beer. This means that brewery tours are great fun - I get to talk about beer and brewing to new people outside of the usual bods I see day in day out. When I started doing the tours at Kelham, I knew that there would be people who were more interested in brewing that others, and some people who literally just wanted a piss up in a brewery, but I think I may have been wrong.

I have discovered there are two types of brewery visitors which are poles apart - either they are fascinated by brewing to the point that they try and ask awkward questions to catch us out, or they couldn't give a monkeys and just get trolleyed. There is very little scope in between for people who are just-a-little-interested-and-would-also-like-to-get-a-bit-tiddly-on-beer.

So when I'm doing a tour I know it's either going to be AMAZING, with lots of interested people who ask mostly good questions, or it's going to be horrid, with a bunch of piss heads who just want the beer.

The staff at Heely City Farm came on a tour which I hosted last week, and they were brilliant! I spent about 40 minutes going through the brewing process with them, and they asked lots and lots of questions which prompted more jabbering from me. I did apologise for the babbling about everything remotely related to brewing, but apparently it was 'informative'..... Most excellent. On the up side again, they're going to come and take some of our spent hops for their compost heap. Hops make brilliant compost (if you didn't know) and us brewers just want to get shot of them, so I'd definitely recommend popping down to your local micro brewery and asking for some.

Mary Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockle shells
And pretty maids all in a row

Or maybe she used compostable hops which would actually work.